Foot Panic and other Digressions

So maybe I should be telling you all something more conventional like what sort of day I've had...not bad all things considered...and detailing the food I've eaten though that's much more passe these days. Most people just share endless videos of cats. My back which as you may recall was injured in an horrendous bollock washing incident is definitely feeling more spritely. As a result of this not unwelcome development I have become bored and possibly a little introspective. The cast is really beginning to get on my tits, it makes me feel like my foot can't breathe. You know that sensation that you get when you can't find your way out of your own jumper or can you remember going to the bottom of the bed when you were a kid and then panicking 'cos you couldn't find your way out? Well I've got that, in my foot, I have to wear one of those horrendous pressure stockings on the other foot and it's obviously feeling a bit left out as occasionally it tries to join in. So my foot is mildly panicking and the rest of me is bored. How can a foot panic, but it definitely is, I can almost hear it's little footy voice screaming to be let out. This is a sensation you cannot give into, that way madness lies. This fucking plaster cast is not coming off for three months...alright, I'm lying they'll be taking it off next week, but only to put another one straight back on...and given this, it's not really a good thing to dwell on in the first week. Before you know it you'll be screaming and reaching for the shears...not sure I've got the voices right there, not 'you' but 'you' as in me...and it's hot and sometimes I can't feel my toes...wow this is really not exorcising any demons at all. Need to think about something else really quickly. So in conclusion, gazing at your own navel is never a good thing...specially if it's like mine, an innie not an outy and filled with unnameable gunk and that peculiar belly button fluff not to be found any where else. I have it on good authority that it smells but I've never plucked up the courage to find out...anyhow I digress, navel gazing leads to having a panicking foot which is no good for anyone. Please try to restrain the urge to call the doctor and have me committed :)

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