Boring IT Wank

Jeez, I'm absolutely knackered, I've only been working since 0630 this morning...it's 1130 now. Bear in mind this is all whilst lying flat on my back so I'm not exactly over exerting myself.

Firstly, answer any emails, then look at the log of bugs for software I'm involved with, quick call to 'she who knows all' to work out what the fuck is going on. Fix the issue that was blatantly my fault and upload it to the test system. Join a call with a third party and a project manager. More calls to work out what the fuck is going on with some other database'y things.

Talk to India, set up stuff for them, more talk to India about really boring IT wank. Talk to head office about same IT wank. Talk to local office about same wank...is it time I actually had a..purge brain of naughty thoughts...talk to nice man in Weston-Super-Mare to ask about wank. Consider fixing wank...too tired need break, brain not working properly.

Have wash...this is revolutionary..., ladies and gentlemen, I am leaving the room. This involves a certain amount of logistical planning. Firstly flail around on the bed like a particularly uncoordinated octopus trying to reach my wash bag. Burrow around in the bed clothes looking for the actual clothes that Helen gave me last night. Have a brief fight with the office chair to get it through the gap between my desk and the bed. Sit in office chair breathing heavily, fuck,fuck, bollocky, bollocks...I've left my toothbrush on the side table. Fling myself with gay abandon back onto the bed where stretched at full length I can just reach the toothbrush, back to the chair.

Right I'm all set, I have my wash kit, my phone...in case the office ring...,fresh clothes. I am ready to rock and roll apart from the world appears to have gone all fuzzy, this is it, another transient ischaemic attack brought on by a massive blood clot, this time I'm going to die...oh hang on, I've left my reading glasses on...return the glasses to the side table and set off for the downstairs loo...

...lunch is over I have to get back to work, to be continued.




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